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Bag Lady

Bag lady you gone hurt your back Dragging all them bags like that I guess nobody ever told you All you must hold onto, is you, is you, is you

-Erikah Badu

Hey Friends,

I have a bit of a confession to make, but you have to promise not to judge me. You promise? Ok so here it goes, my name is Nakia and I’m a recovering hoarder. I mean it used to be bad, like dresses from freshman year of college bad,  Valentine’s day cards from that situationship that happened back in 2006 bad, and how can I forget that outfit from three sizes ago bad (the one that made me look real snackish), I warned you it was bad. And to make matters worse,  I was holding on to all this stuff in my little 500 square foot condo that honestly could barely fit me in it, so something had to be done. 

So about a year ago I found myself examining my closet and thinking I haven’t worn this dress in years, and it sure doesn’t fit my no longer “snackish figure” anymore, I needed to get rid of some stuff and lucky for me, I know some people (shout out to my girl Morgan from @itsclosettalk). My girl got me all the way together, she turned what was once an overcrowded closet to a fully functioning closet design that worked for me and my crazy busy lifestyle. Listen, the reality is, I honestly could have taken some time to rid my closet of old clothes, bagged it up for Goodwill and been done with it. But I didn’t know how to effectively manage a closet full of clothes, shoes, and accessories and create systems that would keep it organized and fully functional longer than a week. I once read somewhere that having too much clothes in your closet will give you decision fatigue, and I feel like that y’all can definitely relate to that “I have nothing to wear” with a closet full of clothes dilemma. 

I’m sure you figured out by now, this isn’t just about my once messy closet. Here’s the thing, our jam-packed closets whether you have a 500 square foot condo like me, or a 2400 square foot house either way there are a lot like our lives and the stories we have stored away in our memory banks. And even if your closet isn’t jam-packed it might just be unorganized and compartmentalizing may be a need for you. The thing is sometimes we have a really hard time letting stuff go, because of the joy or pain it brought you or maybe even the way it made you feel; but the reality of it is if it doesn’t serve you, you go and let God sis! We hold on to so much and whether it’s for semimetal purposes like letting go of this idea of who you were supposed to be (like my too small dress and my weight goals) or letting go of aspects of your past (like the Valentine’s Day card that reminds you when someone “loved” you), it’s way overdue. Decluttering gives you the opportunity to rid yourself of things linked to those not so pleasant experiences or situations whether you think they were good or bad. We get the same decision fatigue when we are sorting through those old memories of the “good ole days”, you can't keep giving them credit they don’t deserve or blaming them for those times where you had to rebuild. 

As the great philosopher Elsa said “Let it go, Let it go”! You have to be willing to surrender the mess, focusing on one section/item at a time, don’t overwhelm yourself. Decide and discover with a therapist, what does letting go mean for you. I remember when working with my girl Morgan, she challenged me with my decisions to keep certain articles of clothing asking questions like “when was the last time you wore this?” or “does this even fit anymore”, let’s just say I was so over her at this point because she was right and I wasn’t ready to let go! And I know that I would not have given those clothes away had she not guided me through this. It’s the same way with a therapist, that confrontation of those decisions you have made to not address those things hindering your growth is just as important. Do yourself a favor and have this talk with a professional and work through it, together!

BGH Tip #4: Make it your business to declutter weekly. Take some time to go through those crowded spaces at home and work to decrease the amount of stress and anxiety clutter causes. I know it served a purpose in your life at some point but now it doesn’t; stop keeping stuff you don’t use.  

Until next time take care of yourself, I love you and I mean it. 



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Taroya B
Taroya B
Jul 16, 2020

Thank you for this suga!!! This came right on time, as I literally just looked at an old Valentines Day card from my ex wondering why I was still holding on to it. I have some decluttering to do for sure lol. Keep the post coming!!


LOVE it! This is such a good metaphor and sooo real! Thank you for using a real life example to connect the dots.....I got a lot of decluttering to do! Love you girl ♥️


Sade Littlejohn
Sade Littlejohn
Jul 15, 2020

Ok, ok! You don’t have to yell at me! lol But, this post was definitely spot on. I’m working through letting go of some things. And it’s sooooo much easier said than done. But I’m committed to doing the work. Thank you for the extra nudge.

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